Here again to take the leap of faith - i am going to the clinic on Monday morning to be evaluated for my true gender because i need to know that abandoning my stupid attempt at staying male is based in a life of overexposure to being made male by those around me. The first step is to out to myself and accept that i am only a femme wannabe sissy and that i can never be a genuine gurl. Though i use my own ass as a near equivalent to a pussy with toys, i am just a pretender until i find my true femme center by allowing myself to accept sissyhood and its humiliations as a way of life. To pretend i am anything other than this is futile. Though it will hurt my family, friends and professional life to open the true essence of what i am, it is better to move toward my life's calling to seek and serve in my fullest sissy capacities. It is sooo scary to not have a safety net under my falling self, nothing matters more than feeling the depth of this humiliation so i can prepare for the One(s) who might own me.

i am ragged with frustration as my self-imposed chastity drives me to the light of being a complete sissy slave. i only hope that i do not die alone before i realize my destiny.

Thanks to katrin for her acknowledgement of my dream and for allowing me to be tested at her site for being a maid. To her Domme as well i give humble thanks.

be well A/all
joie